Living with internal illness

I arose looked in the mirror

And there from my bed I saw a reflection, 

The total opposite of what I expect and how I feel

There the morning sun coming in through the window

I heard the body swear by life in death 

I truly wish I were not here in this moment

Deep down my internal felt like death 

Despite the feelings on the inside

I got dress in a black cotton dress

And stepped out the front door going for a walk,

Feet fumbling along the path, I ran into a neighbor 

Who spoke my name from the side of his lips

Oh my you are looking great

With a nod and a sigh I said if only you knew

You see I may be looking good on the outside

But my friend death lingers on the inside

The pain is gruesome, the aches unbearable

There are many days when I really do not

Feel like getting  out of bed.

Wishing with all my heart that the

Four walls would encased me forever

Lifting my eyes to the God above 

Realizing there is no strength within me 

To rise again another day for I am frail dust

Because living with internal illness is not a lovely thing

So this time I took Him at His words

Hoping He will restore or bring me home

So I truly cast my cares at His feet, 

Turned my eyes to heaven and walked on my way

There I kept thinking how wasted my life was

But the God of mercy and compassion saw the need 

and even at 94 he gave me a second chance

Aug. 4? 07