Another Dark Day

It was another dark, dreary day in the city. Kelly pulled on a sweater and looked out the window.

 Oh Kelly why did you have to enter my world this moment. It is over 24 years now since I closed the door and put the sweater away. Yours was a dark day but my night was cold and dark. As it led into the wee Sunday morning hours when I pull the blinds back. There realizing I need to be in church yet deep down on the inside the pain was great for I did not know how to face the world outside my window, and the people inside my world. Darkness has set in at the worst possible time. The tears were flowing and I had more questions than answers which seems like nightmares right beside me. And the thing about them I could not run and hide because they are with me and within me. It was like day turned to night with a double impact of darkness. This was our world now it is only mine with tears, sorrow, pain and hurt. Inside was like a hollow space I was too numb to move. The words still sounding in my ears there is nothing left to go on just leave it to time. Leave it to time just what is that supposed to be. I looked across the floor outside the window and back at myself. The snow was falling outside it was indeed winter yet for me it was double winter, winter on the ground and winter in my heart. Oh no this cannot be true, where did it go wrong, should this not be for better or for worst until death us to part. And the tears begin to flow when will I face the world or better yet how shall I face the world. The second most important thing in my life has fallen apart. Oh God its cold inside me heard myself saying. Then I plunged into a chair strength has failed me to stand. Right now Kelly I cannot re-call if I had gone to church that Sunday but for sure I know the tears were still falling. And just as the tears became distant between my face and the ground I felt in my spirit the distance in the relationship is now severed. For day’s I spoke to no one and the weeks seems like years and with each reflection the tears begins to flow. How could something so beautiful just disappear like that? The caring, the love the togetherness like a blast from the wind it came in and destroyed everything. Words were inadequate and probably still is because the answer as to why never came. 

January 12/2015